


The Rules of "It's Over"

by CydSA



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: Future Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-20
Updated: 2010-05-20
Packaged: 2017-10-09 15:05:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CydSA/pseuds/CydSA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kris comes back to Adam – Adam isn't sure he wants him – Brad & Mama Allen have a few things to say</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Rules of "It's Over"

**Author's Note:**

> Songfic based on "White Flag" by dido

_ I know you think that I shouldn't still love you, or tell you that.  
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it, where's the sense in that?   
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder or return to where we were _

 

Kris tensed at the door, braced himself and knocked. He heard someone shout something and then it was pulled open.

Brad stared at him. "Look at what the cat dragged in," he drawled, bitch face evident.

"Hi Brad," Kris said softly. "Is Adam home?"

Brad cocked his hip and kept the door half closed so that Kris couldn't see in. "Why?" he asked, sharp and nasty and Kris remembered why he hadn't liked Brad the first time they'd met.

"That's between me and Adam," he said, struggling to keep his tone mild.

The disbelieving snort made him grit his teeth. "Well, lah di fucking dah," Brad snipped. "You want to talk to the head bitch; you gotta go through the second in command."

Kris dropped his head and rubbed the back of his neck. "I just want to talk to him." He was so tired. So very fucking tired and he really didn't need the attitude right now.

"Well, princess, you don't always get what you want." Brad was in full bitch mode and Kris was not in the mood.

He stepped back from the door. "Fine, can you at least tell him I was here?" he asked and headed down the pathway to his car.

"Fucking coward!" Brad yelled at his back and Kris froze.

He turned around. "What did you just call me?" he asked eyes narrow and blazing.

"You." Brad said, stepping out of the doorway, pulling the door closed behind him and pointing a long bony finger at him. "Are." He was right up in his face now. "A." poke "Fucking." Poke "Coward." Poke.

Kris grabbed the offending digit and twisted, ignoring the swift intake of breath. "Do not touch me, Brad," he warned, low and angry.

"My mistake, princess," Brad said, tugging his hand away, "I thought you were someone who gave a fuck about Adam. Guess I was mistaken." He spun on his heels and stalked back to the house.

"Brad!" Kris called, exasperated, "what are you trying to tell me? I'm stupid sometimes and I need things spelled out for me."

Adam's ex stopped, back still to Kris and he said softly, "Adam doesn't need you to come back into his life and break his fucking heart again, Kris."

Kris felt his shoulders tense and then slump. "I can't promise that I won't," he said, just as quiet.

Brad walked to the door and opened it. He turned to Kris then and jerked his head. "You'd better come in then," he told him. Kris jogged back up the pathway and slipped inside before Brad could change his mind.

"I'm warning you, princess," Brad hissed and Kris glared at him.

"Will you stop calling me that?" he asked.

Brad raised an eyebrow. "When you start behaving like the prince Adam seems to think you are, then I might," he said and continued on through the house, heading for the backyard. "Adam's out here," he said.

Kris followed him to the sliding doors and looked out onto the patio. He spotted Allison and Anoop doing some sort of complicated dance move which ended up with Alli on the floor, laughing uproariously. Josh and Ferras were floating on lilos in the pool, yanking on each other and giggling. Adam was standing to one side, a long glass in his hand, watching everything and Kris thought that he looked lonely.

Then Adam put the glass down and took a running leap into the pool, upending both guys with a loud whoop. Alli and Anoop, still on the floor, cracked up and cheered him on.

Adam came up from under the water, laughing his ass off and spotted Brad and Kris. Like a light switch, the laughter and joy cut off and he pulled himself out of the water. He sent a scowling look at Brad as he went to pick up a towel.

"What are you doing here?" he asked finally, everyone else silent and watching them.

Kris shrugged helplessly. "I came to talk to you," he offered and Adam closed his eyes, turning away.

"A bit late for that, don't you think?" Adam asked, rubbing his face with the towel and Kris had to force his eyes not to focus on the freckles spattered across his shoulders.

"I just though…" Kris shook his head. "I'm sorry, this was a mistake." He looked over at Brad. "You were right," he told him ruefully and walked back into the house, heading for the door.

"Don't you dare!" He felt fingers dig into his arm and he was swung around to see a furious Brad. "It's the most genuine emotion I've seen from him in weeks. Don't you fucking dare leave."

Kris stared at him. "I can't do this, Brad," he whispered, "I've fucked everything up so bad."

Suddenly he was surrounded by skinny arms and pulled into a fierce embrace. "Fight for him, you asshole," Brad hissed in his ear and then he let him go.

Kris looked up, over Brad's shoulder to see Adam staring at him. The blue eyes swung away as soon as they met his and Kris felt his heart skip a little. Adam's eyes had been hot before he'd looked away. He still felt something, even though Kris was more than slightly afraid to find out exactly what it was.

"Okay," he whispered back and felt those arms tighten around him and then let him go.

Brad walked back to Adam and slapped him on his arm, gently but firm. "Don't be a dick. Talk to the boy. If he can't answer your questions adequately, then kick his ass out. But at the very least, he had the balls to show up here." He softened the lecture with a kiss on Adam's sulky mouth and then went out to join the others.

"What was Brad right about?" Adam asked curiously, eventually breaking the strained silence. They were still on opposite ends of the hallway, suspicious and wary.

Kris stared at him, looking for the changes since they'd last seen each other. Adam was thinner, his hair was longer in the back and on the top, his face was drawn, tired and Kris wanted to wrap him up and tuck him into bed with a bowl of his Momma's chicken soup and feed it to him by hand.

"What?" he asked and Adam allowed a little smile to cross his lips.

"I asked you what Brad was right about," he repeated.

Kris huffed. "He called me out on something." He didn't want to clarify any further.

Adam was still in his swim trucks, towel slung over his shoulder and Kris let himself just look. He'd missed him so much that it had felt like a physical ache. Adam had obviously been doing some time in the gym because there was muscle definition that hadn't been there…Kris stopped his mind from going there.

"Get yourself something to drink," Adam told him, "I'm going to put some dry clothes on." He waved at the bar and Kris nodded. "Don't go anywhere," he said softly.

"I won't," Kris promised, feeling the first stirrings of hope. "I'll be right here waiting for you." Adam's mouth twisted a bit as he walked away. Kris watched him.

He pulled a beer out of the fridge and had just uncapped it when a whirlwind of hair and noise engulfed him. He still couldn't believe his baby was legal.

"Motherfucker!" Alli yelled at him as she swallowed him in her arms. She never did anything at a walk, Alli was always running.

"Hey there, baby girl," he mumbled into her hair and squeezed her tight.

"You're a dickhead," she told his chest as she hugged him.

"Yeah," he whispered and clung.

"I still love you though," she said and he felt his eyes burn. This girl and her unconditional love made him hope for the future of his country.

"I love you more," he assured her and she pulled back.

"You did it?" she asked, voice soft and awed, staring into his eyes.

He nodded once. She'd been a part of it from the start. "Yeah, it's done," he confirmed.

"Does _he_ know?" she asked.

"No," he told her, "I don't want it to be about that."

She punched him, hard. "Asshole. That's the only thing that has kept you apart." He rubbed the bruised muscle. His little sister had been working out too.

"Hey, Alli?" She turned her head and looked at Brad, "wanna come help me with something?" he asked and she pulled away from Kris.

"I'm not done with you yet, mister," she told him, poking him in the chest. He grabbed her finger and kissed it.

"I'm not going anywhere," he told her and she cast him a grin as she danced away to Brad.

"She hasn't changed, has she?" Kris looked at Anoop who smiled and shook his head.

"Not a bit." Anoop raised an eyebrow, "You okay?"

Kris shrugged. "Don't know yet, ask me later." He felt the nerves jangling below his skin.

Anoop clapped a hand on his shoulder. "You fucked up, Kris, it's not going to be easy."

Kris nodded, blew out a breath. "I know, but it's worth it." He looked up and saw Adam coming towards him. "He's worth it."

"Good luck," Anoop murmured and slipped away.

Adam poured himself a whiskey. "So, Kris, why are you here?" he asked.

The world held it's breath as Kris thought of the right words to use.

He looked down at his hands, beer bottle clenched tightly and said, "I want to ask you to forgive me."

"What?" Adam sounded amazed, confused and Kris looked up at him.

"I came here to ask you to forgive me," he repeated.

Adam blinked. "What do you think you need forgiveness for?" he asked cagily.

Kris put the bottle down and rubbed his neck with one hand. "You're going to make me say it, aren't you?" he asked.

Adam nodded, tipped his head to one side, waited.

"I'm sorry that I cut you out of my life like I did," Kris told him, suddenly tired of fighting and waiting and just wanting. "I'm sorry that it took so long for me to realise how important you are to me." He lifted his eyes and stared directly into endless blue. "I'm sorry that I wasted so much time when we could have been…" He stopped, watched Adam, saw the wariness.

"What are you saying, Kris?" Adam asked.

Kris bit his lip. "You want me to hang myself out to dry here, right?" Again, Adam nodded and Kris wanted to snarl, but he deserved it.

"Okay, I'm saying that I was wrong, I fucked up, I wanted everything and ended up with nothing." Kris took a breath.

"So I'm your last chance?" Adam asked and Kris paled.

"No! God! Adam, you're my everything!" Kris said and closed his eyes. He'd just laid his heart in front of Adam and he was perfectly entitled to stomp all over it.

"My life is pretty good right now, Kris," Adam told him conversationally and took a sip of his whiskey.

Kris felt his heart stagger, trip and stop beating for a moment.

"I have good friends, an awesome career and no real time for anything else," Adam said and drained his glass. If Kris didn't know Adam so well, he'd have believed the nonchalance. The tight set of his shoulders told him that he lied.

"I know," Kris told him, "but I miss you and I want you to give me another chance."

Adam looked over at him, eyes a silver sliver under his lashes. "Why?" he asked bluntly.

Kris took a breath and laid it all on the line. "Because I love you and I've never stopped loving you."

 

_ I know I left too much mess and destruction to come back again   
And I caused nothing but trouble I understand if you can't talk to me again   
And if you live by the rules of "it's over" then I'm sure that that makes sense _

 

Kris walked into the studio and hugged Cale, clasped Ryland's hand and waved at Andrew. "Sorry I'm late," he muttered and pulled out his guitar.

"You okay?" Cale asked and Kris met his gaze and then looked away. "Ah, shit, man, I'm sorry," he said softly.

"Ain't no never mind," Kris said and then perched on the stool in the centre of the room. "Let's try and finish one song today, guys, okay?" He knew he sounded sad and desperate but right now, his music was the only thing holding him together.

He let the familiar chords of "What I Did" take him over and immersed himself in the song. Three hours later and the track was laid and perfect, he let himself relax.

Cale came up behind him as he poured himself a cup of coffee. "Didn't go well with Adam?" he asked and Kris shook his head. Cale hugged him briefly and then walked away. Kris rubbed his chest and tried not to think about last night.

Adam's response to his declaration of love had been less than spectacular. He'd given a short, humourless laugh and walked away without a word. Kris had silently left the house. He didn't have anything else to say.

The next few weeks were a series of days that ran into each other like waves; Kris eventually didn't know what day it was or what time it was, but the music…God, the music kept him alive. They finished the album, apart from a few tweaks and Kris left LA. He locked up his tiny apartment in WeHo and went home.

He let his Mama spoil him for two weeks as he hid away from everything. He **was** a fucking coward. Brad had called it right and he pretended to be sleeping or going out or doing something every single time his Mama asked him about Adam.

She let him. And then ambushed him when he'd just woken up and she'd brought him a cup of coffee in bed.

"When are you goin' home, honey?" she asked, perched on the side of his bed as his sipped.

He nearly burnt his throat as he coughed. "What? Mama?"

She just looked at him. "You know how much I love havin' you here, sweetheart, but this isn't your home anymore and you know it." She patted his knee. "You need to get your tush up and out of bed and home to that boy."

Kris felt a sting at the back of his eyes. "He doesn't want me anymore, Mama," he confessed softly.

"Oh fudge!" she claimed, "Adam Lambert wants to keep you forever and anyone who knows him knows that."

Kris shook his head mournfully. "Not anymore, Mama," he assured her.

She stood up and went to his laptop, keyed in a few words and brought it over to him. "Look at that," she ordered, "Does that look like a happy man?"

Kris dropped his gaze from hers and looked at the film clip. Adam was laughing at something Jim Cantiello was saying. Then Jim asked, "So, have you given Kris Allen any tips on being single in LA?" The question was innocent and anyone who had any interest in Kris would have known that he was divorced. The utter shock on Adam's face spoke volumes.

"I…what…Kris…single?" The worst interview ever, Kris thought, nasty and meanly happy.

Jim cocked his head. "You mean, you didn't know about Kris' divorce?" he asked. Adam shook his head dumbly and then the video stopped.

Kris looked up at his mother. "He didn't know about me and Katy," he told her.

She rolled her eyes. "That much is obvious, Kristopher. The question is, a, why didn't you tell him and, b, what are you going to do about it?"

Kris dropped back on his pillows. "Nothing," he mumbled and yelped when she pulled his ear sharply.

"This is your last warning, Kristopher Neil Allen. If you don't get your behind back to LA and talk to that boy, then I will be forced to take drastic action."

Kris wasn't fooled by his Mama's cotton candy exterior. In a household of three men she'd always been queen. He knew that she would do something terrible. "Fine, I'll go," he muttered and slunk out of bed to the bathroom.

"You have a week to fix this," she called after him, "and then I'm stepping in."

Kris wanted to say something smart back at her but knew it would end up in his ear being clipped and him feeling like he was five again. "Yes, ma'am," he called back glumly.

It took him half an hour to pack his bags and he hugged and kissed his parents and climbed into the cab, waving to them as he headed for the airport. He switched his phone on for the first time in two weeks and saw that his message in box had 150 messages. He scrolled through the senders and stopped at the one that said _Adam_. He wasn't sure his heart could handle it right now.

So he turned his phone off again and pretended that he'd seen nothing.

LA was mental. He loved the city with its mellow overcoat and wild undertone. He'd fallen in love here. Had his world fall apart here. Broken his heart here. It still felt more like home than Arkansas ever had.

 

_ And when we meet, which I'm sure we will all that was there, will be there still   
I'll let it pass, and hold my tongue and you will think that I've moved on.... _

 

Kris climbed in the cab and the driver turned to look at him. "Hey, aren't you that guy who won that singing competition?"

Kris grinned, "Nah, but I get that all the time," he said. He settled back and decided to check his messages again. About 100 of them were from Gina. He sent her a text telling her that he was back in LA and raring to go. A few calls from Cale, Andrew, Allison, a couple from Anoop.

He listened to Katy telling him that she wanted him to send her the red guitar and then deleted it immediately. It still hurt him that they were so strained, so far from friends that it took her getting drunk to call him. He made a mental note to send the guitar to her, with a letter and a hope that they could get some of what they had been back again.

And then there was the one from Adam. He took a breath and pushed play.

_Kris, it's me; I guess you know that already, fuck, I hate these things. I just heard about you and Katy and, God, I'm sorry. I was an utter shit to you when you came here and I didn't know._ Kris heard him take in a shaky breath and then his voice dropped. _I swear, I didn't know. If I had known that you were single when you came to my house, I would have dragged you upstairs and fucked you until you couldn't walk. Swear to God, Kris, you make me act crazy. I hate that my gut reaction is to protect myself first. But that's on you._ Kris heard a weary sigh. _But I didn't listen to you, I pushed you away and that's on me, so when you get this message…_

It cut off before he could finish. Kris dropped his head back on the seat with a pained laugh. This was just how his entire relationship with Adam had worked. Push, pull, fuck up, fight. Kris was tired of it all.

His phone rang suddenly and he looked at the caller id. "Hey Mama, I'm on my way to my place," he told her before she could start.

"That's good, honey, and then tomorrow you can go over to that thick headed boy and knock some sense into him," she said in an even tone. That's when she was at her most dangerous.

"Yes ma'am," he promised and said goodbye. The rest of the ride was in blissful silence.

The next morning he strolled down to the Farmer's Market and bought a bowl of fresh fruit and sat by the fountain in the sun, eating.

Brad sat down next to him. "So, you done with your hiding, princess?" he asked conversationally and Kris ignored him.

Brad ignored the deliberate ignoring. "Adam knows about the divorce," he told Kris. Kris carried on eating.

"I can do this all day," Brad said blithely. Kris licked his spoon and stood up to throw away the trash. Brad ambled along with him. "Adam's feeling pretty shitty about the way he treated you the last time you were there," he said, somehow managing to fit his hands in his jeans pockets. There really was no room.

"How'd you find me?" Kris asked eventually as they strolled through the stalls.

"Twitter," Brad told him with a little grin of satisfaction. Kris snorted a laugh. "It's useful for a lot of things," he assured Kris.

"What do you want, Brad?" Kris asked, looked straight at him, remembering a day several weeks ago when Brad had asked him almost the same thing.

"I want you to talk to him, give him a chance to explain," Kris was shaking his head already. "God!" Brad exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air, "The two of you are such drama queens! You're going make me crazy!"

Kris patted Brad's shoulder. "Thanks, man," he said awkwardly, "I appreciate you trying." He squeezed that bony shoulder and then walked away.

Brad called after him, "You're still a princess!" Kris flipped him off without turning around.

He called Cale and arranged for the band to hook up later that week. It was time to get ready for album promos and tours.

"You okay?" Cale asked.

"Will be," Kris said and that was all. At least some of the people in his life didn't feel the need to talk him to death.

His mother left him messages, increasing in threats until she eventually said, "If I call Leila tomorrow and you haven't talked to Adam, then I am on the next plane to LA and trust me, Kristopher, you **do** not want me there in my current frame of mind." He deleted that message. It scared him.

He got home from his first band rehearsal and found Adam leaning on his doorbell. "I'm not home," he told him and Adam spun around.

"Kris!" he gasped and flung himself at him. Kris didn't have a chance to brace himself. He was enveloped in heat and leather and spice and everything that was uniquely Adam. "Fucking finally!" Adam breathed into his hair.

Kris extracted himself gently, but firmly and opened his door. Adam didn't wait for an invitation. "What brings you over to my neck of the woods?" Kris asked casually. He steeled himself, armed himself.

Adam kissed him.

 

_ I will go down with this ship and I won't put my hands up and surrender   
There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love and always will be_

 

As kisses went, his first guy on guy mouth action was nothing to write home about. Adam was terrified and desperate, Kris was angry and clueless.

Adam pulled away and put his hands on Kris' cheeks. "You are a fucking coward," he accused softly, eyes soft and loving.

Everything inside Kris melted. He'd been in love with Adam for what felt like his whole life. Being mad at him was exhausting and unrewarding. "You are a judgemental asshole," he told Adam, voice just as quiet.

"Perfect match then," Adam said with a smile.

Kris felt his mouth curve in an answering grin. "Our fights are going to be spectacular."

Adam smirked. "We'll be legendary," he agreed.

"So, where does this leave us?" Kris asked. Adam tugged him down to the sofa and cuddled him in close.

"Together at last?" he suggested and Kris dropped his head on Adam's shoulder, played with the fingers on the hand that rested on his thigh.

"I'm not fucking around, Adam," he said carefully, "I'm so stupid in love with you that you have the power to break me. Not even Katy leaving broke me." He sighed. "To be honest, when she asked for a divorce, the first thing I though was, I can finally be with Adam." He shook his head. "I was a shitty husband."

Adam pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. "That's because you were married to the wrong person, baby."

Kris lifted his head and stared at Adam in horror. "We are _not_ getting married!" he declared.

Adam's lip jutted out. "Well fuck and I had my white suit all ready and everything." He grinned. "Ass, of course we're not getting married. California still doesn't recognize gay marriage." Kris scowled at him. "And you're not exactly gay yet, are you?"

"Totally not my fault," he muttered and Adam laughed.

"All in good time, baby," he assured him and cuddled him again. "We need to get these communication issues sorted out first."

"You wouldn't talk to me," Kris pointed out. "That doesn't exactly help with the communication."

Adam waved his hand airily. "Minor issue. You didn't mention that you were divorced."

Kris shrugged. "You didn't give me the chance."

"Maybe if you'd started that conversation with, "Hey Adam, about that wife problem that's been the elephant in the room" then maybe we'd have converted you to the joys of man-love already."

Kris poked him with his elbow. "I told you that I loved you!"

"But you were still married, to my knowledge!" Adam exclaimed. "Trying to do the right thing for once in my life and look how it worked out."

Kris settled back against Adam. "Yeah, look at that." He sighed contentedly.

"Don't you fall asleep on me!" Adam warned him.

"Okay," Kris said agreeably and yawned.

"Kris," Adam whined.

"Love you," Kris mumbled and fell asleep.

When he checked his messages a few hours and a lot of kisses later, there was one from Brad that made him grin.

_So I guess I can't call you princess anymore, huh? Glad to hear you manned up…brutha_

He was laughing too hard to explain it to Adam and kissed him instead.


End file.
